I can’t help it. I love Kid Rock.

I do. I love Kid Rock, and his music. I know the majority will probably disagree with me on that. I love that song All Summer Long. I think it is my favorite of the moment. I actually saw him in concert when I lived in San Antonio. It was the famous night where the lead singer of Monster Magnet tried to pick me up by appearing in the crowd after they were done opening for Kid Rock. He told me I had pretty eyes after he practically sang his entire damn show while looking right at me. Then he asked what I was doing after the show. I am sure I could have gotten a ride on the tour bus if ya know what I mean. However, I was with a friend and her husband, and she was about seven months pregnant. Plus, he wasn’t really my cup o’tea. Very nice though. It felt nice to know a rock star had a short crush on me.

But yeah back to Kid Rock. He puts on a fabulous show. It was probably one of the best concerts I have ever seen. Also, he is a big supporter of the troops, and for that reason alone I think he is grand.

Irate

I am absolutely irate right now. Luckily I have Xanax to control my irateness (is that even a word). Life is just so unfair when it throws you the most unexpected curveballs. You try and do the right thing, but it just comes back to bite you in the ass. More to come in the next few days. I need to gather my thoughts before I say something I might regret in the long run. I just needed to vent somewhere, anywhere, because I surely can’t do it while I am here on my Reserve drill weekend. I think I hate the Air Force. Really. Not the people in the Air Force, but the Air Force policies. Yes, I do. I hate the Air Force policies. They suck and they are unfair and they are untrue. (*#&$Y%Y$#&$(&%#(_*

I think this is it for me and the Air Force. I think we might be breaking up for good. I’ve tried, and it just isn’t working. I even came to the recent conclusion that I’d finish out my 20 years in the Reserve and retire, as I only have 8 left. I’m an E-6 right now, and had a decent chance of making it to E7 or even E8, but now…..well now I am ready to break up with the Air Force once and for all. Or rather it is breaking up with me. AHHHHHHHHHH.

Velvet, I’ll be in touch with you soon. Heh.

I’m A Rock Star

This is something I wrote on Saturday to some friends, but didn’t want to be Posty McPosterson over the weekend.

I was SWAMPED at work today. These stupid fuckers want me to perform basically 6 months of work within 2 days….weekend days at that when the help I need is active duty and on a M-F schedule. So I was going, going, going all day at work today. Before I knew it, my boys, Chip & Dale, were coming to get me for lunch at 11:30. I was shocked it was so late.

“Shut up. It is NOT 11:30 already. It feels like 8am.”

“No, Jenn, it’s really 11:30.”

Anyhow, my main building/office is on one side of the base in the middle of no where. The people I need to coordinate my task with happen to be on the other that I refer to as the ‘people side’. A good 10 minute drive. Not that 10 minutes is that long…but when you only work 2 days a month you need every second you can get. So I’ve been driving back and forth, back and forth, ALL day. It was starting to get to me, especially when the new Capi-tan-o told me to get this done for the commander by 3pm this afternoon. HA! Good luck with that.

1pm rolls around and I’m supposed to be on the people side of base working with my coworkers….who were waiting on me, but the Captain, who decided to delegate most of the duties to me, was talking to me about some issues. In military world, I am sure most of you know, a low life enlisted person like myself can’t tell a Captain to ‘piss off, I need to get going’. I have to wait until he is done. However, just to set the record straight in case anyone from work gets wind of this, I do like the guy. It was just a stressful day. He finally finishes, and I hop in my car to drive to the other side of base like a mad woman. To be honest? I think the speed limits on most bases are such horseshit. 15mph, where it could be 25. 25mph in certain areas where it could SURELY be 35 or 40. 35mph where it SHOULD be 55mph, but I digress.

I turn around the corner going a little faster than the norm. I mean I’m not going to run over any pedestrians….hell…there are NO pedestrians or even sidewalks for that matter. I was probably going 40-45 in a 25. Out of no where comes the cop in the blue truck. Getting pulled over, while in uniform, on base, by military police SUCKS. They aren’t real cops in the sense that you get a ticket with a fine. You just get in trouble with your commander. Fun.

So old cop boy is taking his sweet time calling in my plates which basically means the cop at the LE Desk doesn’t know how to use the system or my husband has warrants out for his arrest (car is in registered in his name). Mind you I am pulled over right next to my destination parking lot….so I am praying my commander doesn’t come around the corner to witness all this. Also? I didn’t have my seat belt on. I almost always wear my seatbelt 99.9% of the time. However, on base, sometimes I don’t when running from point a to b. I’ll admit, I feel invincible (on a military base) while driving.

I slide the seatbelt on hoping he didn’t notice it was off. Cop Boy comes over to the car. He’s lower ranking than me….which can be good or bad depending on how I play my cards.

“Hey there! Do you know why I pulled you over?”

I smile a really flirty, yet innocent girl grin at him.

“Yeah, I do.”

“OK, I need your military id and driver’s license.”

Stop. As some of you know, I am rather lazy. I lost my license OVER a year ago…almost a year and 4 months ago actually, and have yet to get it replaced. I just recently sent for my records from the state where it was issued so I can get one in VA…but in the mean time I have been really good at not getting pulled over.

“Oh, well, here’s my military id, but there is a problem with the driver’s license. I don’t have it. With me. It’s at my unit, the ***, over on the other side of base. I can see the purse on my desk. Is that ok? Do you need my registration and insurance? I have that if you’d like.”

I am practically batting my eyelashes at him by now.

“No, it’s fine. I’ll be right back.”

“Ok!”

5 minutes later he returns. No warrants out for TheBoy.

“Here ya go. Now you know why I pulled you over? I wasn’t even running radar. I was watching for people to cruise through the stop sign without coming to a complete stop, and then I saw you hauling around the corner. You were obviously NOT going 25.”

I smile again and try to look as genuine and sweet as I can.

“Yes, I’m really sorry. I’m a Reservist, and only work one weekend a month. My office is on the other side of base, and my people are over here. I’ve been going back and forth and have this major suspense for my commander. It’s just been on of those days. I’m really sorry. I’ll watch my speed from now on.”

“OK, I’m going to let you go without a ticket. It’s ok, we all have crappy days. I hope yours gets better though!”

“Oh you’re sweet. Thank you so much!”

“No problem, we gotta look out for each other every now and then right?”

“Sure do!”

I wink, wave good bye, and drive into my parking lot. Hot damn, I love being a girl sometimes when I can use it to my advantage!

Military Anal Probing Hits DC Area

Does anyone else find it funny that both the Marine Corps and Air Force memorial/museum things are kind of shaped like big anal probes? Ya gotta love the irony.