Girls like this…give us a bad name

There are certain kinds of women I could never be friends with. Let me just say this to the girls out there. Ladies – if your guy is emailing with a female friend/coworker and there is NOTHING in the damn email that should make you wonder, and you still have “issues” with the content or even the contact at all, then take it up with your husband and not the female on the receiving end of the email.

I HAD a coworker/friend that I would shoot the shit with in the morning when first coming to work. You know how after a weekend has come to an end, and you drag yourself in on that horrible Monday morning, coworkers tend to share stories about their adventures for the past two days. Anything to make Monday morning go by that much quicker. Well I’ll be the first to admit, I’m that girl in the office where everyone loves to hear what went on. I almost always have something quirky to talk about, or some out-of-the-norm kind of story. That was the kind of office friendship I had with this guy. Nothing more. I always thought he was a cool guy, and assumed his wife would be the same. I even invited them to a kid-friendly bbq we had at our place one weekend. They weren’t able to make it because he decided to take a job in Iraq for a year, and happen to be having an early Thanksgiving.

I told this coworker of mine that if his wife needed anything while he was gone or wanted to hang out, to pass on my info to her. The reason I did this was because I knew they did not have any family in the area, and based on what he told me, she had no friends. I am just a nice person like that, and always very welcoming to past and present military people.

So this guy, we’ll call him X, left this job in November. Since then, I have received two emails from X over the course of two months. Count that people. TWO in TWO. The first email was a basic email sent out to multiple people letting everyone know he arrived, and what the conditions were like. I replied to that one saying the usual crap when someone arrives in Iraq. Glad to hear you arrived safely. What are the living conditions like? What do you do over there in the off time? Then I threw in a brief update on my favorite toxic couple that likes to break up quite a bit and then get back together. Why did I do that? It was one of my post-weekend stories about their latest breakup and makeup sessions. And plus the guy is in Iraq for a year. He needs some kind of entertainment. I then wished him a happy holiday, if that was possible, and said I’d email him back after the Christmas break was over. That was that.

Fast forward three weeks, and he emails me again. This time it is an email directly to me inquiring about his old position, how so-and-so was doing, and a brief run down of what it was like there. Then he threw in that he missed my crazy stories, and closed the email. Just a simple email with nothing questionable. So I replied as any friend would do. I gave him the scoop on the job over here, and his replacement. I mentioned a few other updates about other coworkers (not gossipy ones, but good updates like so-and-so bought a house). Then I filled him in on the status of Toxic Couple. And I threw in a humorous story I had about meeting a former high-class DC escort at dinner one night. I ended the freaking email inquiring about his wife and kids, and again, I extended the offer to his wife about hanging out some time. I mean it was such a neutral email that it could have been signed by Jenn or Bob if that makes any sense.

I have a very strict policy on not flirting with male friends of mine…especially those that are married. Personally, I think that adding flirtatious behavior to the friendship just has the potential to complicate things at some point, and end up hurting someone even if it was just meant as something unintentional. And to me, that is not a road I want to go down, unintentional or not. Being in the military for over nine years, and working with mostly men, really taught me some good lessons on how to be friends with your male coworker without upsetting the wife. I know some people, like my husband, think it isn’t my problem if the wife gets upset. And really, it isn’t. However, I have always treaded very lightly in regards to being friends with a married guy. If it doesn’t look like I will be able to befriend a guy’s wife, well, chances are I probably won’t take the time to establish a friendship with said guy.

A couple of weeks ago, I arrive at work after my relaxing three day MLK weekend to find the following email from X’s wife:

Hi Jennifer this is BlahBlahBlah X’s wife. We share this e-mail account and I have received a couple emails from you. X and I have discussed and both agree that this emailing is innappropriate(sic) for you to be sending him these e-mails. For us to have a healthy relationship we don’t need to hear about your life and your friends life either, it doesn’t benefit our relationship that we have with each other. So please don’t email him anymore. thank you and I hope you can find someone elses (sic) husband to vent to.

BlahBlahBlah

I know I shouldn’t be all that pissed because I don’t know the specifics of their marriage, but why in the hell is this bitch emailing me?

X and I have discussed and both agree that this emailing is innappropriate (sic) for you to be sending him these emails.

A big, fat WTF bitch!? Inappropriate for me to be sending him these emails? He emailed me first both times! And my emails were so freaking neutral! AND I extended an invite to her to hang out or if she needed anything since her husband is in Iraq for a year!?

So back to my original point. If your guy is emailing someone that you don’t want him to or the two of you have a history with him and inappropriate emails with other females or you just feel incredibly insecure, then TAKE IT UP WITH HIM! Don’t make yourself look like a douchebag by emailing such absurdity to someone who was obviously just trying to be a friend to your husband and possibly you.

Take it from me, when you email the other women, you just make yourself look stupid. I know this from very past experience.